#046 - DESPICABLE

[dram]

Many thanks Boaz for the thumbs-up - funny how these things work, some clues you labour over for ages but that one just came to me in a flash over dinner. I never did get round to telling you all the saga of buying Mrs Swabb's stockings by the way - I explained to the assistant in the shop where I bought them that I needed the largest possible size as they were for my part in a play, but when got home and showed them to my housemate she said that the colour was all wrong, I needed American Tan for the authentic charlady look. So I went back to the same shop, relieved that it was a different assistant, and gave my explanation again. The shop assistant turned to me and said 'oh really sir. You know we had someone in here yeserday with exactly the same story'.

Oh well it was funny at the time.

Anyway, this week's word is DESPICABLE and was chosen by Mrs Dram, not sure whether I should read anything into her choice.

Results will be posted on Saturday morning, cutoff for submissions 5pm Friday. Have fun!

[anax]

Low bed with special spread (10)
BED+SPECIAL*

[Prolixic]

Well done Dram - after our disparaging comments on Am Dram goings on, I doubt any of us stand a chance this week

To get the ball rolling:

Vile brew of Belgian spiced ale (10)

Def: Vile

(B[elgian] + spiced ale)* (Brew)

Star embraced by young girl the French find shameful (10)

Def: Shameful

DE(SPICA [Star])B + LE

[pepsib]

Well done Dram, here goes again

spasmodic bleed spica, is dirty

Def: is dirty

anagram of bleed and spica (bandage) indicated by 'spasmodic'

[pepsib]

Thanks for the clue analysis Boaz, it's great and much appreciated
Mary - pepsib

[pepsib]

short man before fully grown we hear is lowdown!

def - lowdown
short man - des
fully grown - i.e. ripe (picable) we hear

not great but the only way i could get rid of the other clue!

[pepsib]

Beca lisped abysmally its pitiful

def - pitiful (despicable)

Anagram of Beca lisped indicated by abysmally

[pepsib]

Man with little holy guy is beneath contempt

Man - Des
little holy - pi
guy - cable

[pepsib]

brewing spiced ale bravo, its vile!

def - its vile

Anagram spiced ale B(ravo) indicated by 'brewing'

sorry just noticed this is very similar to one above should i delete this one too?

[Old Scroat]

Degrading of French sailor left in Cayenne, for example


Degrading (definition): DE (of French) AB (sailor) L (left) in SPICE (Cayenne, for example)

[Mattparry7]

O'Connor photo can be foul (10)

o'connor - DES
photo - PIC
can - ABLE
foul - def

wasn't sure whether to include "be" or not but I think it works better this way. One that eric and ernie would have been proud of anyway!

[Gazza]

Cute old tax men go for snap offensive (10)

def: offensive

cute = DESIRABLE
old tax men = IR (Inland Revenue, old because they're now called something else)
go for = replaced by
snap = PIC

[thewizenedgnome]

Well done dram - thoroughly deserved!.

Rum-spiced ale containing a hint of brandy is disgusting. (10)

(SPICED*rum with A (B) LE
def = disgusting
Taking a liberty with the hyphen, perhaps.

Having just checked the submissions above I have noted a similarity to Prolixic's vile brew. I'll keep this one up as there is enough of a difference, I think.

[Prolixic]

Disgraceful editor comes back with afterthought returned to one by telegram (10)

Def: Disgraceful

editor comes back DE + afterthought returned SP
one by telegram = i + cable

Edit - fatal flaw in the cluing - I could feel the ink dripping from the pen so thought I should try and do something about it.

The original "afterthought editor sent back" could be psde or spde or desp. Not good

[Boaz]

Some French guy goes round at about 3.14; that's mean (10)

DES CABLE going round PI

Lots for Dram to rule on here. Is 'guy' synonymous with 'cable'? Is it fair to include that 'at' as part of the definition of pi? I'm going with 'yes' and 'yes', but then you'd expect me to say that!

[Penfold_61]

How Wayne Bridge might describe John Terry: leader of pillocks in shambolic side; captain; talented (10)

P(illocks) in side* + C + ABLE

[Boaz]

On the, ahem, small chance that Dram doesn't go for my pi def, I've brought back my despicable Frenchman for another stab.

Some French guy eating endless pie - that's disgraceful (10)

[anax]

Dirty Sanchez e.g. shown in “Beadle’s About” (10)
Dirty=def
Sanchez=example name of Latin American or (derog.) SPIC – inside BEADLES*

[Boaz]

Had Ginger Spice practiced to become so vile? (10)
Had = D
Ginger (anag) SPICE = ESPIC
practiced = ABLE

[vinod.raman]

Wretched criminal spied on wire (10)
Def:Wretched; criminal spied=SPIED*=DESPI, wire=CABLE

[Boaz]

This is shameful stuff. About as close to outright thievery as it is possible to get in the world of cruciverbalism I'm afraid. So with apologies to Vinod:

Reprobate spied criminal on The Wire (10)

As Bunk would no doubt say, "That's some real lowdown sh*t, Jimmy".

[Prolixic]

For starters Britney Spears gets laid receiving Church record's kinky review - "It's disgusting"(10)

(BS + LAID + CE + EP)* kinky review

I think that this needs a little more polish but I wanted to get the image out of my mind

For starters Britney Spears gets laid by creep in a kinky fashion without a hint of romance - its disgusting.

(BS + LAID + C[R]EEP)* in a kinky fashion

[Penfold_61]

For starters Britney Spears gets laid receiving Church record's kinky review - "It's disgusting"(10)

(BS + LAID + CE + EP)* kinky review

I think that this needs a little more polish but I wanted to get the image out of my mind

Are we talking Charlotte Church here?

[thewizenedgnome]

Placid bees, when mishandled, can become abominable. (10)

(PLACIDBEES)*when mishandled
def = abominable

**Edited to add colour and improve def (I hope!)

[thewizenedgnome]

Dastardly assessment of a daffy cartoon character. (10)
DD
Not Dick!.
Dastardly = def.
Daffy (daft) Duck's assessment of many a situation is "Dethpicable!"

**Edit. I have to include 'cartoon' to be fair**

[Gazza]

Bad eclipse traumatised base (10)


def: base
anagram (traumatised) of BAD ECLIPSE

[Prolixic]

For starters Britney Spears gets laid receiving Church record's kinky review - "It's disgusting"(10)

(BS + LAID + CE + EP)* kinky review

I think that this needs a little more polish but I wanted to get the image out of my mind

Are we talking Charlotte Church here?

Whatever floats your boat!

[Mattparry7]

Dastardly assessment of a daffy cartoon character. (10)
DD
Not Dick!.
Dastardly = def.
Daffy (daft) Duck's assessment of many a situation is "Dethpicable!"

**Edit. I have to include 'cartoon' to be fair**

I'm glad you came up with this because I was racking my brains trying to remember who used this as a catchphrase!

[anax]

Parking one’s taxi in Leeds when touring the pits (10)
P I CAB in LEEDS*

[thewizenedgnome]

I'm glad you came up with this because I was racking my brains trying to remember who used this as a catchphrase!

It was nearly Sylvester until I Googled! - he was Sufferin' Succotash.

[anax]

Suddenly anax goes all Paul/Punk/Mudd:

Dirty bed’s place I shagged (10)
BED’S PLACE I*

Message to all contributors who are all sweet and innocent:
Sorry, both.

[boxwood]

Appalling lab pics tossed into river (10)

Def.=appalling
DE (LABPICS*) E

[Prolixic]

Virgin eclipsed BA - disgraceful (10)

(eclipsedba) * virgin (in the sense of new or fresh)

[Penfold_61]

How Wayne Bridge might describe John Terry: leader of pillocks in shambolic side; captain; talented (10)

P(illocks) in side* + C + ABLE

MIght I be permitted to defend the rather stilted nature of the wordplay here? This is in fact a satire, a pastiche if you will, on how your average Premiership footballer might respond. Clearly I've edited out all the ums, ers, you knows and obviouslys. As an ex-Chelsea player himself monsieur Bridge may well view his former team in a dim light.

[7dGunPine]

Did someone mention self-censorship?

After changing caps I bleed like a c*** (9)
def: like a c***

(caps I bleed)*


Is there a delete button?

[Penfold_61]

Did someone mention self-censorship?

After changing caps I bleed like a c*** (9)
def: like a c***

(caps I bleed)*


Is there a delete button?

Clot?

[Penfold_61]

As the Olympics are on...

Dreadful Lynam heard to predict a gold in archery (10)

DES (Lynam) + dodgy homphone of pick a bull (pick as in pick a winner, the "gold" in archery being the bullseye).

[boxwood]

Beginning to decline, I sleep rough around taxi base (10)

Def.= base
D[ecline] + (ISLEEP*) around CAB = taxi
Anagrind = rough

[boxwood]

Low-scale biped movement (10)
Def.=low
SCALEBIPED*

[thewizenedgnome]

PA's decibel range is low (10)
Def = Low
Note Public Address not Personal Assistant!

(PASDECIBEL)* range (as in stray, roam, wander, ramble)

[anax]

Struggling to think of new stuff now:

Low river banks nearly overflow around Hackney (10)
DEE around (banks) SPIL(l) around CAB

[pepsib]

Mean Beca's plied Doctor(10)

Def - mean
anagram - Becas plied indicated by Doctor

[pepsib]

A pleb dices crudely, a plebian?(10)

Def a plebian - low, despicable etc.
Anagram 'a pleb dices' indicated by crudely

I understand what i'm doing here, but perhaps no one else does?

[pepsib]

Mixed up Dad to pack cash in Ghana its degrading(10)

def - degrading

Dad - P - for Pappa
pack - bale
cash - curency in Ghana is cedis (but who would know that)
P-bale-cedis - mixed up

ok that's it all out of ideas now

sorry folks, have unwittingly committed the sin of an indirect anagram, I have asked Anax to remove it but maybe it should stay so that Dram in his write up can explain to all us 'novices' exactly why this isn't allowed, I will leave it up to Anax to decide to delete it or not?

[Penfold_61]

Mixed up Dad to pack cash in Ghana its degrading(10)

def - degrading

Dad - P - for Pappa
pack - bale
curency in Ghana is cedis
P-bale-cedis - mixed up

ok that's it all out of ideas now

Run for your lives! It's an indirect anagram!

[dram]

All, I make it 39 entries so far, so Anax's prediction of 40 for the week looks like an underestimation (and that's not counting the ones that were replaced during the week!)

I have written my review of everything submitted to date. So far 6 are on the short-list and I'm struggling to say who's in front, but my trusty dice will come to the rescue I'm sure.

From here on, if you want me to take account of any changes you make to something already submitted, please let me know via PM - thanks. As a reminder, the deadline is 5pm Friday and I hope to be handing over the reins later that evening.

Dram

[dram]

Run for your lives! It's an indirect anagram!

S'cuse me Penfold, I'll do the judging! I've just finished reviewing that clue and the blood is still dripping from my pen. Sorry pepsib!

[anax]

Actually, given the recent thread about polls, penfold's comment comes at a good time. If we allow commenters to highlight weaknesses in submitted clues it gives their contributors a chance to edit, which is great as far as I'm concerned. We can sort of help each other to hone our techniques, a concept which is so utterly beautiful I think I'm about to cry.

[dram]

Yeah that's fine of course, it's just that I was writing my eval of the clue at the same time, which made me smile. Personally I prefer a behind-the-scenese PM to say, hey bud, you dropped a G there, which will definitely be interpreted as constructive. Penfold's comment is obviously meant helpfully, but I'm nervous that if publicly pointing out deficiencies became the norm it might - only might - start to look like backbiting. Again, I'm not for a millisecond suggesting this here.

[shrike1313]

How about:-

Horrible wooden woman swallows jelly mix. (10)


wooden woman is "deble" (Britannica), jelly mix indicates anagram of "aspic". "Horrible" is the definition.

[dram]

Welcome to the forum shrike and kudos for finding another way to clue this word, despite there being 39 entries already. Good luck, and I hope to see you here regularly.

[phisheep]

Here's an excruciating image that I have to post so it goes away ....

Out of hospital from bleach poured on some French letter, that was mean. (10)

Overall construction - Out of (wordplay), (definition)
DES (some French) + PI (letter) + (BLEAC(h))* (hospital from bleach poured)
it'll probably fall foul of the 'on'-pedants though

... and a rotten reading with some very naughty wordplay ...

Despite note on wireless, worthy of praise. (10)

DESPI (despite with 'no TE') + CABLE (wire); def = less worthy of praise
Don't think you're supposed to chop up words like that, but fun to do it

[7dGunPine]

Revolting cripple is going for spice concoction (10)

Cripple (vb) = DISABLE with IS replaced by (SPICE)*

[Penfold_61]

How about:-

Horrible wooden woman swallows jelly mix. (10)


wooden woman is "deble" (Britannica), jelly mix indicates anagram of "aspic". "Horrible" is the definition.

*looks the other way*

[pepsib]

Hi Anax, having committed the apparent sin of using the 'despicable' indirect anagram and failing 'wretchedly' to solve the problem above, I would be grateful if you could delete the 'shameful' ' lowdown' 'worthless' 'abominable' effort, while i try to recover some dignity
Thanks
Mary/Pepsib


ps maybe it should stay just to enlighten other would be offenders?

[Boaz]

Hi Pebsib,

Don't beat yourself up! There isn't a person alive or dead who has ever tried to set even a single cryptic clue that hasn't made a mistake. Everyone has set indirect anagrams, clues to clues, faulty anagrams, &cetera.

I've made a real effort in the last year or so to improve technically, but in the crossword I submitted for this site only yesterday, Anax had to pull me up on a technical faux pas I'd made and didn't even know about.

I'd leave your clue in. It stands as a record of where you are as a setter now. In a year's time, hopefully another new setter will make a similar mistake, and you'll be able to offer encouragement by showing how far you've come.

Jim

[pepsib]

hey Boaz

Thanks for the encouragement, I think after all, I will leave it where it is

[Gazza]

Criminally spied on third-party moneyman to get low-down (10)

def: low-down
anagram (criminally) of SPIED followed by (Vince) CABLE (third-party moneyman)

[Boaz]

(Vince) CABLE (third-party moneyman)

Brilliant!

[Prolixic]

State EC labs confusion about Theo's pee is disgusting (10)
Def: Dreadful

DE (State [Delaware]) + SCABLE (EC labs confusion) around PI (Theo's pee)

Dastardly Dutch want exotic spice island back (10)

Def: Dastardly

D (Dutch) + ESPIC (exotic spice) + ABLE (Elba (island back))

[pepsib]

Hairy bald pieces are worthless

def - worthless

anagram of bald pieces indicated by hairy

[shrike1313]

How about:-

Horrible wooden woman swallows jelly mix. (10)


wooden woman is "deble" (Britannica), jelly mix indicates anagram of "aspic". "Horrible" is the definition.

*looks the other way*

I'll get my coat...

[phisheep]

Hateful type bleeds drops all around (10)

(BLEEDS)* anagrind=drops, all around PICA (type), def=hateful

[anax]

One last desperate effort:

Not on bail, speed freak “snorts” line (10)
BAIL SPEED* (freak=anagrind) around L. "Snorts" is supposed to be some sort of containerind which I'm guessing needs the quotes... or maybe not?

[Boaz]

One last desperate effort:

Not on bail, speed freak “snorts” line (10)
BAIL SPEED* (freak=anagrind) around L. "Snorts" is supposed to be some sort of containerind which I'm guessing needs the quotes... or maybe not?

Despilable? Or am I missing something?

[anax]

One last desperate effort:

Not on bail, speed freak “snorts” line (10)
BAIL SPEED* (freak=anagrind) around L. "Snorts" is supposed to be some sort of containerind which I'm guessing needs the quotes... or maybe not?

Despilable? Or am I missing something?

Ah. You know what happened there, don't you? I'd started by wanting to use "speed" and L=line, then noticed BAIL was available in the fodder too. Starting to work on Clue v1.1 I noted "a bit of coke" but didn't change my original L=line whatsit. Call myself a setter? What a numpty. Shall we try what the clue should have said?:

Not on bail, speed freak “snorts” a tiny bit of coke (10)
BAIL SPEED* (freak=anagrind) around C(oke)

Y'all are most welcome to guffaw at my ineptitudinosity.

[Boaz]

If this forum allowed images, there'd be a big, hot-linked picture of Nelson Muntz, right....










here.

[thewizenedgnome]

If this forum allowed images, there'd be a big, hot-linked picture of Nelson Muntz, right....


here.

Wot, like that, you mean?

[pepsib]

shocking, Dales bicep twitches (10)

def - shocking

anagram of Dales bicep indicated by twitches

or should that be:-

shocking Dale, biceps twitch

[anax]

With apologies:

Pepsib’s quietly removed laced pants, revealing bum (10)
(p)EPSIB + LACED*

[shrike1313]

[pepsib]

Wish I'd thought of that,

[Prolixic]

Wish I'd thought of that,

I wish he hadn't!

Not for judging Dram but in reply:

Newly made alias, "Bad Sixpence", shows Anax is __________ (10)

[dram]

Well if you lot have quite finished…

Something's stopping me from submitting my judging all at once, so I'm breaking my post into chunks. Not to tease you (though that's a spin-off benefit it is true)

I’ve learned from my last effort as judge and have written my comments on the clues as they were posted, with a last-minute check to see which ones had been updated. It’s been nice to stay in touch with progress during the week and not have to do it all in one go.

I thought I’d lay out my judging criteria and would be interested in anyone’s comments on whether they would do it differently. In priority order:

1. Fairness – if I judge a clue to be ‘unfair’ then it drops out of contention immediately.
2. Surface reading – does the clue represent a meaningful sentence? Is it overlong, or stilted? If good, you’re on the shortlist.
3. Makes you smile – to decide amongst the cream of the crop – does the surface amuse you? Do you get a buzz out of spotting the solution (a ta-dah moment)?

So on to the entries and with Boaz otherwise engaged our first entry of the week came from:

Anax
Low bed with special spread (10)
BED+SPECIAL*
A very strong start to the week. The def is neatly disguised. Absolutely smashing and straight onto the shortlist.
Dirty Sanchez e.g. shown in “Beadle’s About” (10)
Dirty=def; Sanchez=example name of Latin American or (derog.) SPIC – inside BEADLES*
Again (as usual) the clue is spot-on accurate, but in this case I don’t think the surface reading is very meaningful. Of course, it is tongue-in-cheek, and we let all sorts of things go here (hardened perverts and the like) but nevertheless I’m not entirely comfortable with ‘Sanchez eg’ = SPIC without some indication that we are looking for something off-colour (for example, “…Sanchex e.g. unkindly…” – otherwise it implies that SPIC really is a straight synonym for someone with a latin name. This is probably matter of personal taste.
Parking one’s taxi in Leeds when touring the pits (10)
P I CAB in LEEDS*
Lovely smooth surface but I think you are trying to pull a fast one Anax with the ‘s after one. Should I put two Is in the answer, or IS? I’m pinching myself here, I’m picking Anax up on clue accuracy? Surely not!
Dirty bed’s place I shagged (10)
BED’S PLACE I*
It’s going to be one of those rude weeks isn’t it? Bonus points for making me smile (no comments about college days) but the surface, while very witty, feels a little too contrived to reach the shortlist. ‘The place I shagged’ would have been so much better - as a clue for DEETHSPICABLE, perhaps?
Low river banks nearly overflow around Hackney (10)
DEE around (banks) SPIL(l) around CAB
Great surface reading. Anax has a way of creating inserticators that blend seamlessly into the wordplay – I remember ‘boxes’ and ‘dresses’ in winning clues recently – now we have ‘banks’. Very clever stuff. So here the insertermeister has CAB inside SPIL, then put DEE around that. Phew! It works, I can’t deny it, but somehow the wordplay feels a bit contrived and unnecessarily complicated for my tastes. Others may say it rocks!
Not on bail, speed freak “snorts” a tiny bit of coke (10)
BAIL SPEED* (freak=anagrind) around C(oke)
I’m starting to get overwhelmed with the job of separating so many top clues. ‘Not on’ is perhaps the cleverest definition of the week. Sure to make the solver smile. In case anyone is interested I don’t think the quotes are needed, one of your easier inserticators Anax. Shortlisted.
Pepsib’s quietly removed laced pants, revealing bum (10)
(p)EPSIB + LACED*
I am trying to avert my eyes as I type this. Nice idea and a fun way to round off the week. The wordplay seems to work (ie the p belonging to Pepsib removed) and I like the way you changed the meaning of ‘pants’ (there most be a ‘getting knickers in a twist’ joke there somewhere).

[anax]

Great write-up Dram - thank you very much indeed.

Just a quick note about the "Parking one's taxi..." clue. The apostrophe points to a contraction of "has" to link it to the next two bits. To be honest I had a slight concern over that because it's linking to TWO further components rather than one. Used that way, the device isn't universally popular.

[dram]

Prolixic
Vile brew of Belgian spiced ale(10)
Def: Vile (B[elgian] + spiced ale)* (Brew)
I’m right with you on the Belgian beer Prolixic, 365 different beers, so they say, and every one a dud in my book. So it definitely made me smile, but I’m afraid I have to knock you back, because B stands for Belgium and not Belgian. My dictionary offers B=British or BELG = Belgian.
Star embraced by young girl the French find shameful (10)
Def: Shameful DE(SPICA [Star])B + LE
Well now, this seems to work and Spica is, of course, the 15th brightest start in the night sky. It’s a bit too much General Knowledge for my taste, but it’s in the Chambers Crossword Dictionary so perhaps I’m just not very knowledgeable. I must add that you did a nice job on twisting the meaning of star. To be even pickier, I would have thought the French would be a lot more understanding of this sort of thing than most nations, so the surface doesn’t quite click for me. I’m still very impressed at your productivity though, two entries within barely an hour of me posting the challenge!
Disgraceful editor comes back with afterthought returned to one by telegram (10)
Def: Disgraceful. Editor comes back DE + afterthought returned SP one by telegram = i + cable
This is better, I especially like the way the surface makes good sense and tells a dramatic little story. But – it’s such a shame – I can’t see how to read the ‘to’ in the wordplay. There isn’t any way I can read it as a connecting word (like ‘against’ or ‘with’ or ‘on’) and so, with a heavy heart, I’m knocking it out on the fairness test. Sorry!
For starters Britney Spears gets laid receiving Church record's kinky review - "It's disgusting"(10)
(BS + LAID + CE + EP)* kinky review.
For starters Britney Spears gets laid by creep in a kinky fashion without a hint of romance - its disgusting.
(BS + LAID + C[R]EEP)* in a kinky fashion
I have some bones to pick about fairness I’m afraid, which is a shame as the surface readings are stunning and I am really having a struggle getting some of these images out of my head!
1) The ‘s on record’s bothers me. Does it mean plural (in which case the fodder includes EPS not EP), or short for ‘is’ (which would not make grammatical sense)? I reckon you are in good company with this, Anax did the same this week.
2) Both clues scatter the fodder amongst the clue. You have ‘gets’ in their, plus either ‘receives’ or ‘by’, which do not form part of the fodder at all. So for example I think:
‘laid by creep in a kinky fashion’ can mean:
(synonym for laid) + creep* or
(LAIDBYCREEP)* but not
(LAIDCREEP)*
I am drawing a fine distinction here because I reckon Anax’s clue ‘Low bed with special spread (10)’ is fair – the preposition ‘with’ can indicate that we’re combining these in a mixture whereas ‘by’ doesn’t. The line has to be drawn somewhere and that is where I am drawing it.
Comments from those more experienced than me would be most welcome.
Virgin eclipsed BA - disgraceful (10)
(eclipsedba) * virgin (in the sense of new or fresh)
OH! Oh! This is lovely. Short, snappy, reads well, it all makes sense and it makes you smile. Well done that man! I have just one complaint which I’m afraid is going to deny you a place on the shortlist – I don’t buy ‘virgin’ as meaning ‘rearranged’. ‘Untouched’ more like. An anagrind should indicate movement of the letters and it breaks my heart to say that, for me, ‘virgin’ doesn’t do that.
State EC labs confusion about Theo's pee is disgusting (10)
Def: Dreadful; DE (State [Delaware]) + SCABLE (EC labs confusion) around PI (Theo's pee)
Some great stuff going on here. Theo’s pee indeed (Greek for P). The surface is dramatic although a bit nonsensical. The anagram indicator does not work for me, although I have seen something similar in the Telegraph: ‘confusion’ is a noun so how can it act as an instruction to rearrange the letters before it? ‘in confusion’ or ‘confused’ would be fine and would also fit the surface.
Dastardly Dutch want exotic spice island back (10)
Def: Dastardly; D (Dutch) + ESPIC (exotic spice) + ABLE (Elba (island back))
This is your best clue of the week. It has an imaginative surface reading (I’d expect nothing less from you) and the wordplay is almost there. Almost? That word ‘want’ is my only quibble. If it’s in the clue, it should be read by the solver and not just glossed over. ‘with’, ‘and’ and similar connectors are fine as they can be read as joining-up words, but in my view, ‘want’ isn’t OK. I fear this seems harsh nitpicking but there you go. If you have nits, it’s up to your friends to tell you.


Summary: Prolixic, sometimes you drive me crazy! Someday I will understand your fantasies… don’t let me be the last to know. As anticipated, these are vivid, even outrageous clues, but the rule-breaking is toxic. Sorry to pick holes (oops, I did it again) but as judge it’s my prerogative – I think your focus on fairness needs to be stronger, and when it is we’ll all be shouting: “From the bottom of my broken heart, Gimme more!”

[dram]

Great write-up Dram - thank you very much indeed.

Just a quick note about the "Parking one's taxi..." clue. The apostrophe points to a contraction of "has" to link it to the next two bits. To be honest I had a slight concern over that because it's linking to TWO further components rather than one. Used that way, the device isn't universally popular.

Thanks Anax, point taken.

[dram]

Pepsib
spasmodic bleed spica, is dirty
Def: is dirty; anagram of bleed and spica (bandage) indicated by 'spasmodic'
Although the surface reading doesn’t really mean much, you have done a good job of creating a completely fair clue, with a reasonable definition and accurate wordplay. Well done.

short man before fully grown we hear is lowdown!
def – lowdown; short man – des; fully grown - i.e. ripe (picable) we hear
This one’s nearly there but we should be able to make a direct link between your definition ‘fully grown’ and your wordplay on ‘pickable’. The fact that you had to tip us off that both could mean ‘ripe’ gives the game away – it’s too much of a stretch to get from ‘fully grown’ to ‘pickable’. Nevertheless you have done a good job of linking this wordplay to the first element of the clue, ‘short man’ to make the surface reading plausible.

Beca lisped abysmally its pitiful
def - pitiful (despicable); Anagram of Beca lisped indicated by abysmally
You know what, this is pretty good! You’ve constructed a dramatic surface reading (though I’d have inserted some punctuation) and the wordplay is impeccable. The only significant nit for me to pick is that ‘pitiful’ isn’t the same as ‘despicable.

Man with little holy guy is beneath contempt
Man – Des; little holy – pi; guy – cable
Another good one. The first priority has to be (in my book) to write a clue that is fair (technically correct) and your clues this week have, overall, been much stronger in this regard than previously. As well as being fair, this clue neatly disguises the meaning of ‘guy’, a definite plus. The surface is not quite natural enough to make it to the shortlist, but a very good effort.

brewing spiced ale bravo, its vile!
def - its vile; Anagram spiced ale B(ravo) indicated by 'brewing'
Dramatic surface reading and, I think, fair clueing. Again, more punctuation would help (dash after ale?) and it seems odd to shout bravo for ale that is vile. Close, so close!

Mean Beca's plied Doctor(10)
Def – mean; anagram - Becas plied indicated by Doctor
These efforts are so far ahead of the early ones you submitted (and replaced) that I’m starting to think it’s a shame we can’t still see the originals to compare and contrast. The surface doesn’t mean much but the construction is A1.

A pleb dices crudely, a plebian?(10)
Def a plebian - low, despicable etc. Anagram 'a pleb dices' indicated by crudely
I’m less keen on this one, a plebian is a noun and despicable is an adjective so you’d need to put ‘A pleb dices crudely, like a plebian?’ to correct that. And I don’t see the clear link between being a plebeian and being despicable – different things, surely?

Mixed up Dad to pack cash in Ghana its degrading(10)
def – degrading; Dad - P - for Pappa; pack – bale; curency in Ghana is cedis; P-bale-cedis - mixed up
Pepsib, you’ve had a good week but this is a duffer I’m afraid. Duff definition, indirect anagram (asking us to find bale from pack, and THEN make an anagram from it, duff surface. You should have quit while you were ahead

Hairy bald pieces are worthless
Hairy for an anagrind? Can’t think of a good reason why not! Nice one Pepsib, perhaps your best of the week. Surface reading not quite strong enough for the shortlist but close.

shocking, Dales bicep twitches (10) or shocking Dale, biceps twitch (10)
def – shocking; anagram of Dales bicep indicated by twitches.
Nice idea… good to stick in the variant but really you need both Dale’s and biceps to make the surface reading work.

[dram]

Old Scroat
Degrading of French sailor left in Cayenne, for example
Degrading (definition): DE (of French) AB (sailor) L (left) in SPICE (Cayenne, for example)
Nice tight clue, the wordplay works very well witho0ut any padding and the clue is a good length despite its complexity. The surface reads smoothly enough but doesn’t really mean anything – still, it’s a very nice job.

Mattparry7
O'Connor photo can be foul (10)
o'connor – DES; photo – PIC; can – ABLE; foul – def
This is a lovely surface reading, as you say Eric and Ernie would have been proud. The wordplay is straightforward and works well except for one problem: CAN (or CAN BE) is a verb, whereas ABLE is an adjective. So as they are different parts of speech they can’t have the same meaning I’m afraid.

Gazza
Cute old tax men go for snap offensive (10)
def: offensive; cute = DESIRABLE; old tax men = IR (Inland Revenue, old because they're now called something else); go for = replaced by; snap = PIC
Well hats off to you Gazza for producing a funny surface reading in a perfectly fair clue and partly disguising the definition by combining it with snap. It looks for all the world as if CUTE is the def. OLD TAX MEN is an evocative definition for IR. The clue would have been stronger if it were ‘grumpy old tax men’ or ‘grasping old tax men’ – describing them as ‘cute’ without further explanation as to why they should be spoils the integrity of the surface.
Bad eclipse traumatised base (10)
Another clue with a faultlessly fair wordplay. The surface is a bit too much of stretch for me though. You’ve done a very good job of disguising the definition. Good job.
Criminally spied on third-party moneyman to get low-down (10)
def: low-down. anagram (criminally) of SPIED followed by (Vince) CABLE (third-party moneyman)
Oh! My goodness this is a good clue. Faultless construction which will bring a special smile to phisheep’s lammy chops for not wincing at the use of ‘on’ as a connector (see his judging on GREENGAGE). First-class cryptic indicator for (Vince) CABLE as third-party moneyman, and a misleading definition to boot. I absolutely love it. Shortlisted!

The wizenedgnome
Rum-spiced ale containing a hint of brandy is disgusting. (10)
(SPICED*rum with A (B) ALE; def = disgusting
Lovely surface reading, I’m not going to make any further comments about the likely source of this particular beer though! As you pointed out though, the hyphen is a bit of a cheat but not as serious as if it were all one word. And I’m a touch uneasy about that hint of brandy, it’s not really specific enough (though I wouldn’t disallow the clue for that alone). Final quibble is whether ‘disgusting’ is really a definition for ‘despicable’.
Placid bees, when mishandled, can become abominable. (10)
(PLACIDBEES)*when mishandled. def = abominable
Can’t fault the wordplay and you have constructed a very convincing surface reading. It’s a mighty fine clue and comfortably made it to my shortlist.

Dastardly assessment of a daffy cartoon character. (10)
DD - Not Dick!. Dastardly = def. Daffy (daft) Duck's assessment of many a situation is "Dethpicable!"
Super imagination, a great idea to bring in Daffy – a real fun clue. Minus points – you’ve not really used two different meanings of the answer here (unsurprisingly, as despicable only has one meaning) … and as the answer is despicable, not dethpicable, is it really fair?
PA's decibel range is low (10)
Def = Low; Note Public Address not Personal Assistant!; PASDECIBEL* range (as in stray, roam, wander, ramble
Very very good; inspired by Anax’s bass playing no doubt. Slick, accurate and to the point, with a believable surface. Your best of the week… also shortlisted.

vinod.raman
Wretched criminal spied on wire (10)
Def:Wretched; criminal spied=SPIED*=DESPI, wire=CABLE
This works very well, the wordplay is faultless and the surface reading makes sense. Shortlisted.

[dram]

Boaz
Some French guy goes round at about 3.14; that's mean (10)
DES CABLE going round PI
I do like the way you started off the clue with the misdirection on guy but it does rather tail off into an –eh? At the end. I must say it is very helpful of you guys to tip me off regarding the weaknesses in your clues. I think everyone should be required to do this! In this case I feel that guy=cable is fine, but that ‘at’ is not part of the definition of Pi, which may be a bit picky especially as it is an imaginative way to clue PI, but there you go.
Some French guy eating endless pie - that's disgraceful (10)
Well done that man, I had already written the above response before you posted the mk2 version; though I liked the reference to Pi’s numeric value, this version is clearly fairer. And the surface works much better too. Good work. Shortlisted.
Had Ginger Spice practiced to become so vile? (10)
Had = D; Ginger (anag) SPICE = ESPIC; practiced = ABLE
Crikey. None of this wordplay would have occurred to me but on re-reading I can’t fault it – a tough clue in my book but difficulty is not part of the judging criteria. Clever twist that ‘practiced’ reads as a verb but is really an adjective. And a wonderfully savage surface reading. Shortlisted of course.
Reprobate spied criminal on The Wire (10)
As with Vinod’s the wordplay idea is fine (I think ‘criminal’ can go before or after the fodder) except that I am concerned about the extraneous ‘the’ – I don’t think we can just pretend it isn’t there so you get dinged for that.

Penfold_61
How Wayne Bridge might describe John Terry: leader of pillocks in shambolic side; captain; talented (10)
P(illocks) in side* + C + ABLE
Penfold has arrived and makes a characteristic dramatic entrance. Poor old JT, first Prolixic and now Penfold puts the boot in. I can’t fault the wordplay – well done that man – and the surface is entertaining and topical but rather long and suffers a little from the semicolon interruptions (despite your completely unconvincing attempt later to suggest it’s all a deliberate style!). Great knockabout fun.
Dreadful Lynam heard to predict a gold in archery (10)
DES (Lynam) + dodgy homphone of pick a bull (pick as in pick a winner, the "gold" in archery being the bullseye).
Very creative idea, it’s so satisfying to solve a clue where they suggest a phrase rather than a word. Things I have to pick you up on, unfortunately, are: ‘dreadful’ is not a very clear definition of ‘despicable’, in my book they mean slightly different things; yes, the homophone is a bit dodgy; I wouldn’t equate a bullseye with a gold medal. These are all picky shortcomings, you have a very distinctive style and I always enjoy your clues.

boxwood
Appalling lab pics tossed into river (10)
Def.=appalling; DE (LABPICS*) E
I really like this. Perfectly sound, the surface is natural and it paints a vivid picture. Well done indeed. Shortlisted for sure.
Beginning to decline, I sleep rough around taxi base (10)
Def.= base; D[ecline] + (ISLEEP*) around CAB = taxi; Anagrind = rough
This is one of a very select few clues that have really worked hard to disguise the definition – the notable one being Anax’s ‘low bed’. The surface is smooth and interesting. Well done that man, this is a great clue and I’m putting it on the shortlist
Low-scale biped movement (10)
Def.=low; SCALEBIPED*
Another good one, but this time the surface isn’t quite as evocative. Come to think of it, ‘low-scale’ isn’t really a natural fit, you’d use an expression like ‘small scale’ normally I think.
As an aside, I am unsure as to whether to allow the hyphenated word to be split as you have done (the hyphen clearly helps the surface). If it was all one word then I know for sure it’s not allowed. Comments on people’s view on this would be welcome but I have not held it against this clue.

[dram]

7dGunPine
After changing caps I bleed like a c*** (9)
def: like a c***; (caps I bleed)*
I’m speechless. The clue’s sheer audacity has left me crying with laughter mixed with horror. It’s technically flawless as well apart from the (9) which should be (10). It would be an utter cop-out to ding you for that. Boaz was spot on when he observed, last time I was in the chair, ‘is Dram reading this? … Quick, throw in a rude one’. I really enjoyed it, but that’s as far as this clue goes I’m afraid, I’m sure you won’t object.
Revolting cripple is going for spice concoction (10)
Cripple (vb) = DISABLE with IS replaced by (SPICE)*
Very creative, blimey. Neat, slick… very hard to solve in my view but that’s by the by. Shortlisted.

shrike1313
Horrible wooden woman swallows jelly mix. (10)
Wooden woman is "deble" (Britannica), jelly mix indicates anagram of "aspic". "Horrible" is the definition.
Welcome again skrike. Nice debut effort. You have taken up a considerable challenge in doing something different. The surface reading works well and conjures up a pleasantly creepy image. I’m afraid there are two things I’m going to have to knock you back for:
• déblé is too obscure a word for a crossword whose difficulty should lie in deceptive meanings and disguised wordplay, rather than in a test of General Knowledge. We often refer to these as Wikipedia clues, although – ahem – I couldn’t even find it there! Now, if you had written ‘Horrible Ivorian striker swallows jelly mix’ I couldn’t have said that
• ‘jelly mix’ is what’s termed an indirect anagram. The solver is required to find a synonym for jelly (aspic) and then rearrange the letters, and that’s pretty much a no-no. I want to stress that any noise in the posts about it is meant purely in fun. We are all here for entertainment and to learn, and we like to have a wide level of experience amongst our members so that everyone has the chance to learn and also the chance to show off what they have learned. Good luck next week.

phisheep
Out of hospital from bleach poured on some French letter, that was mean. (10)
Overall construction - Out of (wordplay), (definition)
DES (some French) + PI (letter) + (BLEAC(h))* (hospital from bleach poured)
it'll probably fall foul of the 'on'-pedants though
A most entertaining clue, making my eyes water so shortly after they recovered from the Penguin’s effort. Neat juxtaposition of ‘French’ and ‘letter’ to disguise what you mean. I have remembered your ‘putting an extension on a house’ anaolgy and you have cured me of ‘on’ pedantry, so all-clear on that front. There are a few things that bother me slightly though… I’m not sure whether to allow your ‘out of (wordplay) (definition)’ construction… even if it was allowed in principle, surely it would be ‘out of (wordplay)comes(definition) to make grammatical sense. Either way, there’s a lot of padding in here (out of, that was). And amusing though the surface is, it’s an awkward construction. A valiant and creative effort, much enjoyed, but not quite shortlisted.
Despite note on wireless, worthy of praise. (10)
DESPI (despite with 'no TE') + CABLE (wire); def = less worthy of praise
Don't think you're supposed to chop up words like that, but fun to do it
Indeed, you are not allowed to chop up words like that. I might live with ‘wireless’ being treated as if you had written ‘wire less’, as that is the meaning of the word, but ‘note’ cannot be treated as if it were ‘no te’. Another hard and fast rule I’m afraid, you have to sit in the corner with the indirect anagrammers.
Hateful type bleeds drops all around (10)
(BLEEDS)* anagrind=drops, all around PICA (type), def=hateful
Very clever twisting of ‘type’ and a plausible surface. Shortlisted.

[dram]

So, on to the shortlist, where I get out my magnifying glass. No more kudos, just stern scrutiny:

Anax with Low bed with special spread (10)
Cleverly disguised def. Not that much drama going on but classy stuff.
Anax with Not on bail, speed freak “snorts” a tiny bit of coke (10)
The ‘Not on bail’ phrase slightly unsettles the surface, otherwise excellent.
The wizenedgnome with Placid bees, when mishandled, can become abominable. (10)
The construction of the sentence directly indicates the wordplay construction – it goes, ‘(placid bees), rearrange to get (aboninable)’. I can’t imagine any editor complaining but this is a tough week and this clue is just a bit too transparent to make the podium.
The wizenedgnome with PA's decibel range is low (10)
Well, being harsh, you would not describe a range as ‘low’ I think – ‘limited’ is what would be expected, and that’s a blemish on the surface
vinod.raman with Wretched criminal spied on wire (10)
It’s a good clue, but it doesn’t have enough ‘wow’ factor of unexpected meanings or stirring surface to make it to the podium.
Boaz with Some French guy eating endless pie - that's disgraceful (10)
Although it is a good strong clue, there are no pyrotechnics and so no podium.
Boaz with Had Ginger Spice practiced to become so vile? (10)
This, on the other hand, is first-class. Surface is a fraction unnatural (you might say ‘did Ginger Spice practice?) but it’s a quibble and I fear I may be bouncing Jury Duty straight back to you old chap.
boxwood with Appalling lab pics tossed into river (10)
I loved this clue for it’s completely natural surface and vivid imagery. The definitions are quite straightforward though.
boxwood with Beginning to decline, I sleep rough around taxi base (10)
Boxy, You had two of the top five clues this week, in my view. As well as a compelling surface this one has a nicely disguised definition. ‘Taxi base’ is a little unnatural though.
7dGunPine with Revolting cripple is going for spice concoction (10)
There’s no obvious link between the cripple and the spices, if there were (say, it was ‘cook’ rather than ‘cripple’, just to illustrate the point), it would make more sense.
Gazza with Criminally spied on third-party moneyman to get low-down (10)
I have nothing to add and there is nothing I can take away from this one
phisheep with Hateful type bleeds drops all around (10)
I do really like this clue, perhaps the surface is a tad unnatural

And so, to the podium. I’m utterly spoiled for choice and give myself the luxury of picking the 5 best - any of them might be the winner in someone else’s view, but for better or worse I have gone with:
5th: phisheep with Hateful type bleeds drops all around (10)
4th: Anax with Not on bail, speed freak “snorts” a tiny bit of coke (10)
3rd: boxwood with Appalling lab pics tossed into river (10)
2nd: Boaz with Had Ginger Spice practiced to become so vile? (10)
1st: Gazza with Criminally spied on third-party moneyman to get low-down (10)
Snatches it from Boaz on the Thursday, how about that? I picked this one because it has a strong surface, and two clever definitions – in short, everything.

Thanks everyone for giving me a very enjoyable week’s judging (lucky I wasn’t too busy). Over to you Gazza and well done.

DRAM

[Boaz]

Grrrr, damn you Gazza! I thought I was in with a good shout with Ginger Spice until I saw your effort pop up late in the week. Cracking effort, and a well deserved winner.

Dram, what can I say? Magnificent write up. Fair, knowledgeable, entertaining, constructive and well-reasoned. A judging master class. Treat yourself to a half-bottle of something robust and fruity. On Anax.

[thewizenedgnome]

Top write up dram!. Thank you for your objectivity.
You spotted the weakness of Decibel range as opposed to level etc. Curses!.
As Boaz said, extremely knowledgeable and fair write up - I knew that 'placid bees' was waving at everyone from the anagram corner!.
Well done Gazza! Got your work cut out fella!

[Gazza]

Wow, I'm overwhelmed. Thanks a lot Dram for the judging and the excellent and comprehensive write-up. I only discovered this site a few weeks ago and I'm incredibly impressed by the depth and quality of the judging every week, as well as slightly intimidated by the thought of what I'm going to have to try to live up to next week.
I'll have a think about my choice for next week and be back later.

[Boaz]

Hi Gazza,

Don't be intimdated by the write-up. I think there is a feeling that given the recent swelling of numbers, the current way of doing things is perhaps unsustainable. A 1-2-3 with some reasons for your choice is all we ask.

If you want to comment more, by all means do so, but don't let it take over your week, and believe me, if you let it, it will! Crikey there was a lot of, commas in that sentence.

[thewizenedgnome]

Hi Gazza,

Don't be intimdated by the write-up. I think there is a feeling that given the recent swelling of numbers, the current way of doing things is perhaps unsustainable. A 1-2-3 with some reasons for your choice is all we ask.

If you want to comment more, by all means do so, but don't let it take over your week, and believe me, if you let it, it will! Crikey there was a lot of, commas in that sentence.

I would echo those sentiments.
Dram told me the number of pages in his write up - astonishing!. I thinks that anax sensed this coming hence the poll business but as boaz said a shortlist with reasoning and a couple of helpful bits of guidance would be fine (in my opinion.
Having said all that - the write up is Veery enjoyable if you have the time.

[dram]

Gazza, I was nervous as heck the first time. I got some behind-the-scenes advice on things I was unsure of. Second time around it was a lot easier.

Just as we are at pains to point out that we don't hold it against people if their clues are wonky, I think the same can be said for our attitude towards judging. Just do your best and don't worry.

[Gazza]

Boaz, Gnome and Dram - Thanks for your words of reassurance and encouragement. All I can promise is that I'll do my best.

[pepsib]

Well done Gazza and thanks Dram for a great write up and lots of critical help and praise, the write ups must take up a lot of time and would terrify me, but I find that through them I have learnt a tremendous amount in the 4 weeks or so that I have been using this site, I have tried in vain to put an avatar ( a red rose ) by my name but am totally unsuccessful in doing this too cheers all
Mary/pepsib

[boxwood]

My congratulations to Gazza for such an excellent clue, and to Dram for some wonderfully insightful analysis

[dram]

I think the key to the avatar is to get the file size small enough. Once I had that cracked, it was a cinch. I must say, the avatars do make judging heaps easier as you can quickly find all the clues by each person, so the more people that do this the better.

Following Anax's unforgettable clue though pepsib, you might like to reconsider your choice of avatar.